mikaelaaurora:

This is me today. You might say, “gee, Mikaela, you look so nice! your hair is pretty!” and I would say, “oh, you’re too kind, Mr. President.” (Barack Obama reads my tumblr, right?)

But then, folks, I’d say, “it’s not my hair.”
Ok, well, it is my hair. It’s coming out of my head. I made this all by myself. It was grown with tender love and care and plenty of helpings of fruits, veggies and pizza. What I really mean is…this isn’t my natural hair.
How so? Well, besides the fact that my hair is actually a redder brown and I dye it brown to cover up the red (I don’t hate my ginger heritage, it just doesn’t match my coloring!)…these aren’t my curls.
Let me make an obvious confession: I have curly hair. VERY curly hair. No, not the curly hair you see on celebrities when they walk the red carpet, not the kind the salon gives you right before your senior prom…real curls. Shirley temple ringlets spring in to life every time I step out of the shower and if the proper measures aren’t taken..I walk around with what is at best a throwback to Celtic Ireland and at worst (which it always is) a rats nest of weird curls that do NOT make me look good.
Well, that’s what I think any way. I think they make me look like a child, even when I’ve properly gelled and shined them in to somewhat manageable ringlets. Even after I’ve blow dried my bangs in to something I am somewhat proud of (don’t get me started on curly bangs. ugh). I still feel…gross? childish? Whatever it is, I don’t really feel like a hot, sexy grown up woman.
And so…I dry it, straighten it, put tons of product in it and often curl it again, only this time my ringlets are from a 2 inch hot metal barrel and not the over abundance of keratin in my hair follicles (yeah, that’s what makes hair curly.) And you know what? I feel so much prettier! I feel great! I feel like…”hey wow, that girl has nice hair” is a thing people could maybe possibly say about me! But, mixed among the feelings of sexy, cute indie godessness that I feel when my hour long hair transformation is complete..I feel ashamed. I feel ashamed that I don’t want to wear my hair how it naturally is. The feminist in me wants me to love my body, nappy curls and all. Down with the normal beauty standards! Screw the I’ve done pretty well loving every other part of myself, small chest and wide Irish hips included. I just can’t come to truly love and embrace the mess that is my hair. Sure, sometimes I like it. Sometimes I get brave and say “fuck it!” and by God I love my curls those days. But they pass. Some days I am lazy and don’t feel like taking the time to do my hair, and I don’t really love my curls those days, but I deal with them.
So what do I do? There are lots of groups I’ve found that almost seem like support/empowerment groups for girls with naturally curly hair. But I have to tell you, pretty much none of those girls are white. And our hair doesn’t curl quiiiite the same way. Almost.
So where are the white girls with their naturally curly hair? Where are all the weird Irish/Sicilian mixes that have hair like mine? Do they exist? Do they just keep quiet about their “ringlet problem” and spend way too much time in the bathroom with various heating products? Most importantly, how do we make curly hair like mine en vogue again? How do we make it so that I have to do as little as possible to my hair and still be considered a smokin’ hot female? Hmm? How do I bend the entirety of American beauty culture so that I am on top? I’ll get back to you on that.